So. In approximately 2.5 weeks, Mindy and I will be embarking on a southward journey to sweltering mid-Tennessee for what promises to be a hippie-heavy annual sweat-a-thon known as Bonnaroo.
While the lineup is obviously awesome, I worry that the heat, lack of potable water, and endless sun exposure will ruin the wicked good time for which I shelled out over $250.
As much as I attempt to look on the bright side, I seem to be foiled at every turn by previous festival-goers who offer cautionary tales about the water, food, and toilet situations. Most are kind warnings from friends and family, but others seem determined to ensure that I dread every second and regret even bothering spending the money and taking time off work only to spend 4+ days becoming sunburned and dehydrated from explosive diarrhea and lack of water.
Nonetheless, I will keep on my happy face and press on with my signature optimism (yeah right). Anyway, after today's Rapture, this will all be a non-issue.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Friday, February 6, 2009
Back Whiff eh Vengence
Sew yes. Whee halve eh knew presidente and the hole whirrled has tumbled inn two eh black hole. The to argh inn know weigh related, know matter watt that douche, Rush Limbaugh wood like ewe too believe. It has aul ready started....within the necks year, the hole thing will bee Oh Bomb Uh's fault. Mark mai whirreds.
Cannes eye get eh whoop whoop?
Onto udder things.
Facebook:
Won:
Eye yam vary sad that the quiz culture has invaded the facebook. Eye rather in joyed the Facebook, ewe no. Eye like meat ting up whiff ode friends and such. Butt eye (heh) really dew knot care ware you're sell phone is. Never halve. Never will. Eye dew reed 25 facts from sum of mai friends. Butt never will eye right won.
To:
Sum of the grown ups on facebook freak mii oot eh little. Sum thymes, eye halve eh pretty fowl mouth. Sum of these grown ups dew knot knead too no that. Eye aul sew halve eh you nica cents of humor (obvious leigh.) (Susan and Kathy argh exempt from this state meant four obvious riesens.)
weight. eye yam turdy years ode.
Cannes eye get eh whoop whoop?
Onto udder things.
Facebook:
Won:
Eye yam vary sad that the quiz culture has invaded the facebook. Eye rather in joyed the Facebook, ewe no. Eye like meat ting up whiff ode friends and such. Butt eye (heh) really dew knot care ware you're sell phone is. Never halve. Never will. Eye dew reed 25 facts from sum of mai friends. Butt never will eye right won.
To:
Sum of the grown ups on facebook freak mii oot eh little. Sum thymes, eye halve eh pretty fowl mouth. Sum of these grown ups dew knot knead too no that. Eye aul sew halve eh you nica cents of humor (obvious leigh.) (Susan and Kathy argh exempt from this state meant four obvious riesens.)
weight. eye yam turdy years ode.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Fund Raisin
Tis mai promise that the necks purse sun hoo brings mii they kids fund raisin bee ess will get mai ruler inn they throat.
Eye dew knot want two pay for hunnert dollars four to ounces of shitty cookie doe. Rapping paper snot worth ate tea dollars for won yard. Boy Scout popcorn is disgusting, and sorry kids. Grill Scout cookies aul sew suck now. They halve removed the trans-fat, and their four aul of mai pleasure. At tree fitty per box, they argh eh giant ripoff.
You're tree year ode hoo goes too eh private pre school should knot bee dewing fund raisin four eh school ewe aul ready pay four! Likewise, your turd teen year ode should knot bee dewing fund raisin four the dance company that........YOU PAY BILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOUR. They argh making ewe pay eh lot of monies four you're child too dew these things, and then they argh making EWE (hoo twerks farty ours per weak, drives kids too things, makes dinner, doze laundry, etc. etc. etc) [wear was eye?] oh yes. They argh making EWE beg you're co twerkers too bye worthless shit and then they argh making ewe collect monies, they're making ewe deliver it...basically they argh taking you're monies four eh service, and then putting ewe oot sew they cannes get moor monies.
As the co twerker constantly faced whiff these things, eye say fuck ewe. Know longer will eye bee guilted inn two by ying this shit. Know longer will eye feel like eh bitch if eye dew knot.
Now. Eye will bye Grill Scout cookies, even though they suck. Tis anne organization eye support. They promote diversity and teach grills two bee strong and independent. Grills hoo couldn't normally afford things like camp oar eh grill scout you knee form get these things bee cause of grill scout cookie monies.
Finally. Eye dew knot axe mai co twerkers two bye shit from mai kid. YMCA cannes knot they afford mii the same courtesy?
Eye dew knot want two pay for hunnert dollars four to ounces of shitty cookie doe. Rapping paper snot worth ate tea dollars for won yard. Boy Scout popcorn is disgusting, and sorry kids. Grill Scout cookies aul sew suck now. They halve removed the trans-fat, and their four aul of mai pleasure. At tree fitty per box, they argh eh giant ripoff.
You're tree year ode hoo goes too eh private pre school should knot bee dewing fund raisin four eh school ewe aul ready pay four! Likewise, your turd teen year ode should knot bee dewing fund raisin four the dance company that........YOU PAY BILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOUR. They argh making ewe pay eh lot of monies four you're child too dew these things, and then they argh making EWE (hoo twerks farty ours per weak, drives kids too things, makes dinner, doze laundry, etc. etc. etc) [wear was eye?] oh yes. They argh making EWE beg you're co twerkers too bye worthless shit and then they argh making ewe collect monies, they're making ewe deliver it...basically they argh taking you're monies four eh service, and then putting ewe oot sew they cannes get moor monies.
As the co twerker constantly faced whiff these things, eye say fuck ewe. Know longer will eye bee guilted inn two by ying this shit. Know longer will eye feel like eh bitch if eye dew knot.
Now. Eye will bye Grill Scout cookies, even though they suck. Tis anne organization eye support. They promote diversity and teach grills two bee strong and independent. Grills hoo couldn't normally afford things like camp oar eh grill scout you knee form get these things bee cause of grill scout cookie monies.
Finally. Eye dew knot axe mai co twerkers two bye shit from mai kid. YMCA cannes knot they afford mii the same courtesy?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
An.
YMCA dew eye halve two threat tin bodily harm two get ewe to right su'in?
hear goes.
iwku, iwtpu aul sew.
right su'in.
hear goes.
iwku, iwtpu aul sew.
right su'in.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Oh Bomb Uh...
Sew e'r won's panties argh inn eh not bee cause Oh bomb uh is getting moor media at tin shun than McOld guy.
Gas is eating half of e'r won's inn cum, groceries argh eating the udder half, and their appears too bee know end in site. Shit is bad, yo. Eye dew knot speck twill bee getting bet turd annie thyme soon. Inn fact, eye bee leave whee argh inn the middle of eh vary long twisty slide that leads two the dark, cold bottom of the well.
People argh sad. People argh lieu sing they jobs. People cannes knot afford two dew annie thing fun. People argh worried aboot they health.
Sew along cums this young hot black man whiff aul these bright shiny ideals. Hee talks good, aul sew. Hee is smart, and cannes form eh sentence good. Hee aul sew appears two know whirrled geography (witch is step won inn whirrled domination.)
So yeah, the media is going two follow around the guy whiff the uplifting, exciting store re. and knot the dude hoo soaks his den sures and enjoys nilla way furs and rice pudding.
People knead sum won too make them feel bet turd, even if tis empty promises. Whee knead eh celebrity president hoo makes us feel warm and cuddly aul over. Whee knead eh leader.
Get over it, oar get eh knew egg sighting camp pain.
myndie oot
weight. eye just real eyes that win translated inn two melindannese, oh bomb uh's name has the whirred "bomb" inn it. this requires know further explanation. and did y'all no that his middle name is who sane? and that hee was raised inn won of them Al chai duh boot camps?
may bee this oh bomb uh kid ain't such eh good ideal.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Eye Four got two shave mai left leg
An narrowly ex caped eh badass VP. Punt. Like eh football. Dew ewe lub that visual oar twat?
Sew the Corndog wants two go too the Beech candy two day. Hee parnent leigh is immune two the fact that tis won billion decrease oot side.
Eye shaved this mourning and four got mai left leg, as the title says.
Eye apologize four the lack of hilarity inn this posed. Eye just dew knot halve it inn mii two day. //\\ 0=
Sew the Corndog wants two go too the Beech candy two day. Hee parnent leigh is immune two the fact that tis won billion decrease oot side.
Eye shaved this mourning and four got mai left leg, as the title says.
Eye apologize four the lack of hilarity inn this posed. Eye just dew knot halve it inn mii two day. //\\ 0=
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Response two the brilliant twerk at http://boomboom-suz.blogspot.com
The above blog recently posted eh list of the best and wurst tea vee commercials, butt managed two leaf out awl commercials that eye view as aw and chortle-inn spire ring. That's write, chortle-inn spire ring.
#1
This is pure gene yes. Totally bazaar, nauseating, and creepy, yes....butt ab soul lute leigh gene yes.
#2
Eye cannes knot say whiff cert taint tea that this is the funniest of the sear ease, butt ewe git the ideal.
#3
Oh Kay, granite, it tis knot eh commercial butt it totally rules. iwfku.
an oot.
oh, and member.....Jebus comp pleat leigh slaves.
piece.
#1
This is pure gene yes. Totally bazaar, nauseating, and creepy, yes....butt ab soul lute leigh gene yes.
#2
Eye cannes knot say whiff cert taint tea that this is the funniest of the sear ease, butt ewe git the ideal.
#3
Oh Kay, granite, it tis knot eh commercial butt it totally rules. iwfku.
an oot.
oh, and member.....Jebus comp pleat leigh slaves.
piece.
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